WOW! And I say it louder.

I know nothing in life is easy, and nothing is handed to you. You have to work hard for what you have and what you want in life. All my life, I have just let things happen to me, and so far everything has worked out in the end. But I am ready to take control and make it happen now.

I am about to quit something I love, something I am good at, something that takes up a lot of my time. I have made a name for myself and people look up to me. I am the best of the best, but I cannot do it anymore with my new path I want to take in life.  I have support and I am willing to make this sacrifice. Maybe later on I will come back to you. I know I will crave you, like an addiction. I have to keep strong.

Life always seem to do this to me. When I am going good something bad happens, well not just something, but everything. All at once. The opposite happens too, when everything is bad and wrong and miserable, I get a bunch of good things all at once. I made up my mind to change, and I have this new opportunity now. I also got offered another opportunity and now I have to make a choice between the two. Maybe I will just take a taste of the latter.

Short term goal: Profit.

Long term goal: Move.

From a few weeks ago.

The other day was interesting. Was at the bank doing my daily deposit… and one of the gals there was asking what our hours were. She then offered me a job as a teller at the bank! I guess rumor has it I am a great employee and they would be blessed to have me there. It made me feel very good that someone wanted me to work for them, and for them to ask me directly I felt honored.  Of course I declined though. I don’t want to go back to work at a place where my hours are very rigid.  I like my flexible schedule I have now.

They ended up having someone transfer from another bank to this one. I heard she was available too… bleh

Keep having this feeling like I should settle down and get me a woman, but I am happy where I am at now.  Just, everyone one I know has a significant other. Feel like I am going tomiss an opportunity if I don’t act now.

So torn sometimes.

Man it’s been awhile since my last blog.  Just feel like I never have time to do one, even though I really do have time.

Updates:

Well, I was offered a new job.  To be a manager.   Been great so far. Hours are not that bad and the  daily paperwork is easy.  The new people I have met here are great, and the old ones I knew are still awesome.  Fixed a lot of forms we use daily to be more efficient and organized things to better suit work flow.

Been playing eq2 since my last post.  God I missed this game.  Came back to the guild I have been with since like day 3 of my account. Enjoyed seeing them even further along on progression, doing T1 ROK stuff.  Helped a few members DPS better, even in my absence (so I was told).

One of the new people I met when I came back was a crazy Russian guy.  Fun swashy to be with.  He left Evo to be with a VP/TSO raiding guild. It made me sad to see another person leave Evo… then it happened.  What I saw as a very rare opportunity. As I am a wizzy, and it seems everyone has a wizzy so I never thought I would ever get an opportunity to go to a high end guild.  I wanted more though. I wanted to kill THIS expansions stuff. The guild my swashy friend went to needed a wizzy, so I app,ed.

What a fun experience. Killing things with ease, making VP look easy. 2 grouping PR. Learning new encounters in TSO. Killing Tangrin, fun! Sadly, that only lasted a few months.

When I got my new job, I couldn’t make raid times anymore due to that guild being EST. So, I looked around. Found a few guilds that were PST.   One guild stood out though, HW.  Was led by one of the greatest wizzys ever. I used my charm or whatever and got a spot in the guild, which included me leaving my home of BB.  MM is not a bad server though. Lots of things are different, most I wasn’t expecting.

I set a date of 9/18. I’m excited as it should be easy based on what I know and my expericance thus far. Until then, I will be memorizing the little things and numbers I might need on the test, and for real world application down the road.  

Over the past few days I have been asking myself a question. I wasn’t sure if I was asking it because of recent happenings or because I was nervous about doing something I like. The question was; ‘what do I want to do in life?’. As in what job do I want to do that will ultimately make me happy. I know taking the A+ will point me in the direction of the job I have wanted since the 6th or 7th grade. Since then, the experiances I have had in school, friends, and family have also made me look at other jobs that I could do and possibly be happy. But, the more I think about it, the more I still want to do what I had set out to do. It helps that my friends, family, even ex-co-workers keep asking me ‘Why aren’t you in the IT field?’. I ask myself that question all the time too. I guess I am afraid that as soon as I get an IT job that I will mess something up and it will make me not love one of my passions.

Should I keep it only as a hobby and find another path in life? Or, do I persue IT and hope for the best? Maybe I’ll ask myself this question in 2 weeks after my test…

Well, it is literally tuesday, but for most it’s a “monday”. As the holiday just passed most people had monday off and are now enjoying their first day of the work week. Kinda weird. I am happy I dont have to be at work, though I wished I was.  Human, being a creature of habit. Though breaking this habit for the time being has done some positive things.

Over the past few days I have taken it upon myself to really dig into things I want to do.  Finished 2 books I have been reading. With about 15 more I want to read.  Also, I have gotten in about 5-7 hours a day studying.  Most seems like a review, but there are some gold nuggets that I am glad to now know.  I am committed and serious to this now, though I also know I need to find work in the mean time.  I just don’t want to loose focus.

On a side note, World or Warcraft can suck meh balls. Inside joke, offence intended to those who play WoW.

The more time I worked there the more it felt like high school… Don’t run, no Heelys cause you might fall down and sue, make sure all your drinks have lids, dont wear suggestive clothing, etc…. I WAS DEAD WRONG! It’s more like grade school.. I got “seperated”.. which is a nice way of saying Fired.. Its the most deflective, non-offensive, cowardly way of just stating the truth. And to top it all off.. my boss yet again started with the small talk and sounded all cheery, then turned into a cowardly bitch and tries to fluff it up and make it sound like its a good thing and everyone should like it. Well truth be told I was planning on leaving soon anyway, but still. I was doing my part to do my job, WHICH I do more profficiently than 9/10ths of the rest of the people that work there yet the way I do things isn’t acceptable cause of my boss’s stats and thats all she cares about.. It’s not the customer experiance nor the fact I was 6th in the call center… no, it was her agenda to make sure I dont act out and show others how to work more efficiently cause then she wouldnt have a job or something…

I feel nervous and excited at the same time. A huge boulder off my back. Yet a small pull at my pant leg now… Not sure what I want to do now as for work but as all things that happen in my life, they just do and it seems to work out for the better in the end.

On a positive note… Went out for lunch and got to flirt with an attractive lady behind the counter. Was the little gem of my day.

Now looking forward to seeing Hamlet2 tonight and possibly seeing Starz on friday again.

Thanks for letting me vent. I’ll talk to you later blog.

I was told to come in on thursday… we’ll see what my boss has to say. Excited that its a 5 hour day… if I get to stay.

Got some new books today. Wont get to read them for awhile. I might have gone over board on how many books I got recently. But I want to read them all.

Oh well, more tomarrow I’m sure….

Wow… I was having a fantastic day at work. Liking my new-old position and was getting along with my new peers. Then it happened… someone had to fuck up my great day. Was pulled away from my desk and pulled into HR.. Got accused of something at work that I have been complaining about since february and now its looked at as avoiding my work. They sent me home and told me they would “call me” when I can come back or to come get my stuff… fun stuff.. Bright side is that it was monday and I got to come home early.

Well about to go to bed. Not excited that my new shift at work that starts 1hr 30min earlier than what I am used to. But I will get off sooner than I ever have too.

Oh I am also digging this new internet connection…

While d/l torrents… Sad upload lol

Anyways, Night blog.

Updated connection test from Speakeasy.net

Last Result:
Download Speed: 15346 kbps (1918.3 KB/sec transfer rate)
Upload Speed: 842 kbps (105.3 KB/sec transfer rate)

now thats fast

Just got home from watching Death Race. I thought it was going to be good.. it was great! A few scenes made me even flinch at the gruesomeness. But fast cars, hot chicks, guns, death = Manflick.  I would rate it a movie to watch in theaters.

Anyways. Today was last day of my current position. I will miss the freedom I had but I know soon I will have even more freedom as I wont have to work there anymore. Oh well. My last 3 day weekend for awhile, so I will at least enjoy that.